


Cupcakes with Gambit

by Glowbug, NotQuiteHydePark



Category: Cable (Comics), X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Puns, Baking, Birthday Party, Comedy, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 04:26:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18229871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowbug/pseuds/Glowbug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotQuiteHydePark/pseuds/NotQuiteHydePark
Summary: The strangest bakers of them all.





	Cupcakes with Gambit

**Author's Note:**

> We wish to acknowledge a co-plotter and co-scripter just a shade unready to be present on this site. We couldn't have done it without him.

Banshee: I’ve come back t Westchester all the way from Muir Island for Ororo’s birthday party. The flight was long, lads, but the scents are surely worth it. Who are these guys? Who’s in the kitchen?  
Gambit: I’m in charge of de food for de party, mon ami irlandaise. De gumbo is ready, de andouille is out there, and mes amis, we are now baking.  
Cable: I’m learning the culinary arts from this joker, because I’m building a powerful secret strike force of mutants willing to kill for our cause, and—as Napoleon once said-- an army marches on its stomach. I’m a master of tactics, and I’m going to teach these kids what they need to know to survive. And that means baking.  
Gambit: He’s from a dark future. You won’t believe what he ate when he got here.  
Banshee: I grew up in Ireland in the 1950s. Try me.

*

Gambit: Now we take de muffin tin out of de oven and see if de cupcakes have risen-- with anyone else I'd say be careful not to burn your hand-- and see, mon ami, dey have risen, and if dey're strong and firm enough--  
Cable: I'll make sure they're strong enough!  
Gambit: If dey're strong and firm enough on top, we set dem down, et voila, we begin de decoratin'.  
Cable: This giant frosting cannon should do the trick!

*

Logan: If you want me to carve the roast, bub, next time ask me before you glaze it.  
Gambit: And why is dat? It ain't like the roast gonna hurt you.  
Logan: Do you even have any clue how it feels to go into the Danger Room with honey roast brown sugar glaze between your claws? It's sticky as hell, bub. And beer won't help.

*

Gambit: Dat's way too much whipped cream, mon ami armée. And you’ve ruined my whisk!  
Cable: Don't let yourself get attached to material things. They'll only slow you down.  
Gambit: But dat’s de most valuable whisk in de world. It can whisk anyting. I stole it from de National Culinary museum in New Orleans when I was a sixteen year old master thief. It has magical properties  
Cable: But—  
Gambit: And den the Assassins’ Guild came after me, because it was part of deir annual Banquet of Death!  
Cable: I recognize that whisk!  
Gambit: De whisk returned to me mysteriously this year. Came back in a blast o' light. Felt like it was destined for me.  
Cable: It is my whisk.  
Gambit: After de T'ieves Guild won our battle for dat stolen whisk, we sent de whisk into de future to keep it safe.  
Cable: Back into the future, you mean. It came from the future in the first place.  
Gambit: What  
Cable: We invented the whisk in the future, to defeat Apocalypse. He is nothing without his cream.

*

Bobby Drake (bursting into the kitchen on an ice slide): What's this I hear about whiskey business.  
Banshee: Whiskey?  
Jamie Madrox: We spell it whisky. No E on the good stuff.  
Jamie Madrox dupe: Absolutely not.  
Another Madrox dupe: I'm not sure you made enough cupcakes for the lot of us.  
Madrox Prime: Shut up or I'll reabsorb you.  
Bobby: All I'm trying to say here is that I think Remy is taking a really big whisk.  
[silence]  
Bobby: Alright, it's a calculated whisk. [silence] I've studied accounting. I know something about whisk management.  
Banshee (puts glass down): Somebody shut him up.  
Cable: This giant frosting cannon should do the trick!


End file.
